President's Column

Sept. 18, 2018 (Kol Nidre service)

Shana Tova.

I am speaking to you today in our sanctuary, or at least our extended high holiday edition of one. What is a sanctuary? It is, of course, a sacred place, a place to worship. But I think all of us feel a sense of something even greater when we come together in our sanctuary. A place of comfort and safety and connectedness, away from the daily din of the news of the day, replaced with the steady tones of time-honored traditions that feed our spirit and connect us to our Jewish community both locally and around the world.

Some houses of worship in Connecticut have become literal sanctuaries, housing longtime members of the local community who are subject to being deported, as a sanctuary is one place where the government’s hand has traditionally not reached. While we haven’t made use of our facilities that way, it shows that a religious institution’s building is more than four walls and a roof; it is a place infused with the human spirit to make a difference in our lives and the lives of others around us.

When a group of us, led by Rabbi Offner, venture to Poland, Vienna, and Prague next spring, we will gain an even deeper appreciation of the importance of sanctuary, and of the blessing we have living the lives of American Jews. Thankfully, the U.S. continues to be a welcome haven for Jews and Jewish families. But we can never be complacent. In a recent march in Charlottesville, chants included the slogan “Jews will not replace us.” Even in Israel, within the Jewish community, we have seen a Conservative Rabbi arrested for performing a non-Orthodox marriage ceremony. And there’s the controversy in the U.K., where the leading candidate to be the next British Prime Minister has been called an existential threat to Jewish life by a joint statement from a broad spectrum of Jewish leaders in that country.

TBT’s founders created a communal Jewish life here on the shoreline of Connecticut, making Madison, Guilford, Clinton, and other surrounding towns a welcome place for Jews to live. We have all built on that foundation, and our Rabbis, including Rabbi Offner, have built strong bridges to people of all faiths on the Shoreline. TBT’s members and clergy have worked hard to be a beacon for Jews looking for community, worship, and knowledge in this neck of the woods.

TBT has become a sanctuary for those looking for inner peace—with mindfulness and meditation classes, along with Torah Study—and outer peace—with our social justice committee helping the hungry and marching in protest against gun violence. A sanctuary for those looking to study (with lunchtime seminars with the Rabbi), and to play (with Friday mah jong), and to examine the human condition (with an engaging set of Jewish or Israel related films in our annual film series). A place where everyone is welcome. We are strengthened by our diversity of backgrounds, interests, and perspectives.

In order to maintain our spiritual and emotional sanctuary as a place to make those connections, we also need a physical sanctuary that supports our mission.

A lot will be happening in the coming year as many dedicated volunteers among our members work to ensure that our “house of hope,” our Beth Tikvah, is in a building that is inclusive, accessible, and supports the values in our mission statement of tikkun hanefesh (enriching our lives) and tikkun olam (improving the world). Reform synagogues nationally have adopted a principle known as audacious hospitality, to be welcoming in all we do.

Adding an elevator so all of our members and guests can go from the main floor to the lower classroom wing will make us more welcoming. This need was well illustrated when, last December, our 40-year old aging pipes broke and we had no main-floor bathrooms just as we had a guest speaker recovering from hip surgery who struggled to go down the stairs to the lower facilities.

Adding an awning so those waiting for a car don’t get wet will make us more welcoming. And the Rabbi, Cantor, and I could have used that awning when greeting you after last week’s Rosh Hashanah morning service in drizzling rain.

Adding live streaming of our services for congregants unable to attend in person, to hear the Rabbi’s sermon, or view a funeral service, will make us more welcoming.

Expanding our parking area so we have a drop-off loop to avoid children dodging moving cars, and to avoid the High Holiday shuttle being stuck in the line of cars waiting to park—or dispensing altogether with the need for a shuttle—will make us more welcoming.

Making the sanctuary bright with natural light and views of the woods, making the social hall more desirable for b’nei mitzvah celebrations, and allowing us to all face East with our yearround ark on the High Holidays will make us more welcoming.

Replacing an entire air conditioning system so we can stay comfortable and not continue to inject into our aging system a chemical refrigerant that will be banned by federal law in two years will make us more welcoming.

A welcoming congregation also embraces all members regardless of personal and financial circumstances. We want all shoreline Jewish families to be part of our collective endeavor. We can only do this thanks to the generosity of those members who contribute each year to our Annual Fund, above and beyond their annual membership pledge. We will shortly be kicking off the new year’s Annual Fund drive.

None of these improvements and initiatives are possible without the time, energy, and expertise of our members. Our members allow us to fulfill our mission. And our members are essentially our only source of revenue.

Membership is more than a listing in a directory or high holiday tickets. It is even more than access to our wonderful religious school, now headed by Cantor Stanton. Membership is a dedication to the idea of a thriving Jewish community on the shoreline, relationships with our experienced, talented clergy for pastoral care and life-cycle events, deepening one’s knowledge of and connection to Judaism, and social relationships with old and new friends.

Your continued membership is what makes TBT thrive and allows it to be here to support all of us when we need that support.

The Rabbi, in her Rosh Hashanah morning sermon, told us that the Hebrew word for “member” is derived from the word for “friend.” I know that I’m not alone in counting many of our members as my good friends. But membership goes beyond personal relationships. Our collective friendship from our membership at TBT is what makes this place a sanctuary, a safe and meaningful haven for all of us. And when the strength of our physical home reflects the strength of our spiritual home, we are ensuring that TBT will be able to continue its mission for decades to come.

On behalf of our Board of Directors, myself, and my family, we wish you a sweet, healthy, and productive new year. G’mar Tov.

Jeff Babbin

Rabbi's Column

Dear Friends,

What a glorious High Holidays we experienced at TBT. It was truly a house of prayer. I still have so many images that float through my mind: the music, the Torahs, the people, the choir, the flowers, the buzz, the energy, the participation, the tears, the laughter, the life.

So much life was packed into our sanctuary. You brought your hopes and dreams and we nurtured them and cultivated them. I hope that there was enough there to sustain you during the entire year ahead. Even when we are not all together. Especially when we are not all together.

This is TBT at its best, an entire community coming together to achieve holiness. That is why I prefer to refer to these days as the High “Holy Days” more than the High “Holidays.” Holidays and Holy Days are different. Consider these words, adapted from the writing of Rabbi Sidney Greenberg:
“On holidays, we run away from our duties; on holy days, we face up to them. On holidays, we seek to let ourselves go; on holy days, we try to bring ourselves under control. On holidays, we try to empty our minds; on holy days, we attempt to replenish our spirits. On holidays, we reach out for the things we want; on holy days, we reach up for the things we need. Holidays bring a change of scene; holy days bring a change of heart.”

So many of us rose up to help in this grand endeavor, this pursuit of holiness. From the moment we were greeted by John Lesage and his Parking Crew, we knew it was a holy day. Just think of all the others: the Board Members who welcomed us into the synagogue, Bruce Topolosky who offered a beautiful sermonette, Bennett Paul and his team who magically host a gorgeous spread of a Break-theFast, our Shofar Blowers: Eli Sherer, Jen Silva , Steve Eppler-Epstein, and Samuel Kaplan. That choir! Wow! Walter Stutzman on the piano. And speaking of music, waiting with baited breath as our new cantor opened his mouth to sing his first notes. Would he? Could he? And the answer came: a profound YES! How perfect that we will gather again in short order to officially install Cantor Stanton as OUR cantor.

Then there is Kim Romine, who is absolutely everywhere to help with every single request. Bonnie Mahon graciously responded to the phones ringing off the hook. Judy Merriam, who hosts a spectacular Tashlich, this year especially as she so creatively made it happen for us all even in the pouring rain. Our Religious Activities Committee, making sure so many had special honors of readings and aliyot (a special shout-out to Heide Mueller-Hatton and Lisa Leventhal). Our Torah readers and Haftarah readers! Our Usher Captain, Doug Agranov, and Ushers Jonathan Levine, Dick Whelan and Al Goldberg. How many years running, now??? Our on-call doctors: Ben Tolchin, Karen Goldberg, Lynda Rosenfeld and John Foggle.

Our Children’s Programs, run by Kate Rothstein – with Suzy Frisch making everything work like clockwork -- were as smooth as could be. A big shout-out to SALTY, our fabulous youth group, to Casey Goldberg and to Rabbi Polly Berg. And our children! How about that Oseh Shalom? Tina Silidker and Sarah Mervine and our Social Justice Committee, making tikun olam a reality distributing bags and col- lecting food for those in need.

Best of all: all of you. You came, you brought your hearts and your souls, and you changed us for the better. To a continued good year ahead. May 5779 surprise us, beyond expectation, with goodness.

With love and admiration,
Rabbi Offner

President's Column


The High Holidays are right around the corner, and once again our clergy, staff, and member volunteers are hard at work to prepare meaningful and memorable services for our congregation. Mishkan HaNefesh, our Machzor for the High Holidays, can still be referred to as our “new” prayer book despite a few years of experience with it – but it remains fresh and engaging, with new surprises each year.

Plus, it will seem all that much more original this year in the hands of our new Cantor, Mark Stanton. Many of you have met him this summer, including at our two wonderful Beach Shabbats – but others will meet him for the first time. Get ready to be impressed. I am already anticipating hearing his trained operatic voice sing the opening words of Kol Nidre.

This will be my second year as TBT’s President, and I continue to be amazed by the variety of ways that TBTs members bring our synagogue to life. Our new Board is already engaged to ensure the vitality and fiscal health of our community. One of our goals for the coming year is to make use of the resources of our Reform umbrella organization, the Union for Reform Judaism, including its teaching tools on leadership development and synagogue governance.

The energy and wisdom of our lay leaders, working closely with our clergy and staff, are what make our synagogue work for so many people. It is my hope for the coming year to ensure a solid foundation on which to build our future.

Jeff Babbin

Rabbi's Column

Dear Friends,

This September has EVERYTHING in it. In this one single Gregorian month, we encounter these Jewish moments:
     1. the month of ELUL
     2. SELICHOT
     3. Rosh Hashanah
     4. Yom Kippur
     5. Sukkot
     6. Simchat Torah

What in the world could G-d have been thinking when creating the Jewish calendar? EVERYTHING in one fell swoop. So here is a primer for the month ahead.

ELUL – this Jewish month has four letters in it: אלול .The four letters are an acronym for the proclamation “Ani L’Dodi v’Dodi Li,” which translates as “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” It is a reminder to us that ELUL, the month of soul-searching preparation for the High Holy Days, is first and foremost about LOVE. We are entering the fourth year of using our new High Holiday Machzor, Mishkan HaNefesh. One of the definite distinguishing factors about our new prayerbook, is that it heightens the sense of G-d’s LOVE for us. Don’t think of the holidays to come as stern and judgmental; G-d only wants to help us improve our lives, for ours is a G-d who loves us. We could all do better to try loving each other a bit more.

SELICHOT – this holiday is an ‘overture’ of the themes to come. The Hebrew word “Selichot” is the plural form of “Selicha,” which in modern Hebrew is used when we want to say “Excuse me.” That means that our holiday could be called “Excuse Me’s.” In this way, we embark upon the journey through forgiveness, repentance and – one hopes – to joy and true happiness. Such is the promise of Selichot.

ROSH HASHANA – our holiday marking a new beginning. A new month, a new year, a new moon – and an opportunity to consider our lives and make ourselves new again.

YOM KIPPUR – literally, the Day of Atonement. A play on the words suggests we consider Yom Kippur to be the Day of At One-ment. If we can bring all we do into harmony, be truly at One, then we can enter the year ahead with a sense of promise and hope.

SUKKOT – as soon as the hard metaphysical work of Yom Kippur is done, we turn to the very physical harvest holiday of Sukkot. Come dwell in our TBT Sukkah; be sustained by the beauty of the natural world around us.

SIMCHAT TORAH – our month of holidays culminates in this celebration of a most fundamental cycle, the cycle of the Torah. We are guided by Torah each and every day in a never-ending cycle of learning and growth. To all the cycles in our lives – to a New Harvest, a New Book, a New Year.

Shana Tova,
Rabbi Offner

President's Column - Summer 2018

TBT was a hotbed of activity in June, so the summer months of July and August should bring us some respite and time for reflection.

Every weekend in June brought excitement – from the Broadway and Burgers dinner and entertainment extravaganza, to the Board Installation Shabbat, to the blockbuster farewell Shabbat for Cantor Margolius. Yes, about 200 congregants filled our synagogue to honor our Cantor before his departure for New Orleans – and the tributes and unique gifts were heartwarming. I have to thank Sandy Whelan (chair), Jodie Ambrosino, and Judy Merriam for serving on the committee that, in conjunction with the Rabbi, organized the night. And special thanks to Rob Jacoby for the Cantor’s portrait on behalf of the Torah Study participants, and to John Lesage, the master craftsman who designed and created by hand the magnificent wooden music stand that Cantor Margolius will take with him as a reminder of our musical experiences together these past five years.

The next two months will bring a slower pace. Remember: every July and August service on Friday nights starts at 6:00 p.m. Those held at TBT will have a pre-service oneg (“pre-neg”) at 6:00 followed by a relatively short service. Then there are the two beach Shabbat services at Madison’s East Wharf Beach, on July 13 and August 3 at 6:00, followed by a short walk to a congregant’s house for the oneg. Last year’s beach Shabbats were memorable, so bring your folding chair and join us! Bonus treat: hearing Cantor Mark Stanton’s beautiful voice – which many of you heard at Cantor Margolius’s farewell Shabbat – at every summer service starting with Friday, July 6.

- Jeff Babbin

Rabbi's Column - Summer 2018

In the midst of these summer months of July and August, many of us are anticipating, planning or engaged in vacations. I am fascinated by the vocabulary we choose to use to describe that time. In America, we call it a ‘vacation,’ but our British friends describe the same experience as ‘going on holiday.’ And of course in Hebrew, we use the word ‘chofesh.’

Each word can help us enter a time in our lives that is most special indeed. The English word ‘vacation’ comes, quite evidently, from the word ‘vacate,’ to leave. An essential part of any vacation is to leave something behind. These days we are not very good at leaving things behind. If we take our cell phones, our iPads and our laptops with us, are we not denying ourselves a critical component of what a vacation is supposed to be? Let go. Leave. Make a shift in your focus. Vacate.

Though we in America tend to use the word ‘holiday’ to refer to a more collective, national or communitarian day off, we would do well to consider the significance of the words chosen by our British friends to describe their vacations. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could elevate the experience of being on vacation to a holy day? What makes a vacation holy? Not merely because we leave something behind, but because we approach the new adventure ahead with careful attention. Let us spend each vacation day in gratitude for the time, the relaxation, and the opportunities for growth that are ours.

The Hebrew word ‘chofesh’ comes from a root word meaning ‘free.’ A vacation is both about freedom ‘from’ and freedom ‘for.’ Our vacations are not simply about leaving, but about arriving.

Planning a vacation? Don’t forget to actually vacate, to honor the moments of each holy day and to pack all that free time up, with life.
Rabbi Offner

President's Column - June 2018

Shalom. June brings us to both endings and beginnings. When one era ends, another always begins. June is the last month of TBT’s fiscal year, and with it we have Board members departing after years of service but also congregants newly joining our Board to help us fulfill our mission statement in all we do. At our Annual Meeting, we recognized the departing Board members and came together to welcome the new ones. If you are interested in service to your synagogue, whether it is on the board or, just as important, on one of our committees; please let me, the Rabbi, our office staff, or another Board member know.

June is also the month when we say farewell to Cantor Kevin Margolius, who in his five years of service to our congregation has been a spiritual and musical leader and friend. He leaves us as a stronger community, and with a solid religious school, ready for the next era. And that era is already starting as we welcome our new cantor-educator, Cantor Mark Stanton, who brings a wealth of experience and talent to the shoreline of Connecticut. It is fitting that on Friday evening, June 15, we will have the opportunity to celebrate all that Cantor Margolius has brought to our community while also saying hello to Cantor Stanton, who will attend that special Shabbat service. Do please come that evening as we transition from one era to the next.

June is also a month of high school graduations, where in our own families we celebrate what our children have accomplished while readying them for the next era of college and adulthood. In May, we had a special Shabbat service recognizing and blessing TBT’s large group of 12th graders (including two from the Babbin family!) as we looked both backwards and forwards. I am pleased how TBT has prepared our children for leading Jewish lives as they depart our homes for the next stages of their lives.

- Jeff Babbin

Rabbi's Column - June 2018

We are officially in the midst of our transition. We are saying ‘goodbye’ and ‘hello’ at the same time. We say goodbye to Cantor Kevin Margolius who has spent five tremendous years with us. Cantor Margolius has built up so many of the programs that we now hold dear: our Religious School that has a curriculum bursting with learning, our Shabbat band that brings joy to our services, his voice in prayer week-in and week-out, a Bar and Bat Mitzvah training program that has done away with recordings of the portions in favor of the ability to read and even sight-chant trope. The list goes on and on. We are the beneficiaries and we offer our deepest thanks. Please join us for our farewell service on June 15.

At the very same time, we are thrilled to say hello to Cantor Mark Stanton. It has been a non-stop six-month search for just the right cantor at just the right time for TBT. There are big shoes to fill and we are blessed mightily that Cantor Mark Stanton has accepted our invitation to be TBT’s next Cantor-Educator. Cantor Stanton is a graduate of the Hartt School of Music in Hartford. He has been the beloved cantor of Congregation Beth Emeth in Wilmington, Delaware for the past 14 years. He is beloved because of his skills and his passion and his caring for Jewish life. I am delighted beyond belief to welcome him as my clergy partner and I am sure that you will see why very soon, when he joins us for Cantor Margolius’ Farewell Service on June 15 and becomes our cantor on July 1.

Rabbi Offner

President's Column - May 2018


“Civility.” That’s a word I want to plug in this month’s column. It’s a short column because I am facing a barrage of work-related deadlines in my legal practice. But what makes it all tolerable is civility in my profession and in the workplace. A lawsuit is by definition an intractable dispute among people or businesses, so we have courts that apply the rule of law to maintain civility. Now, sometimes I do face a lawyer for the opposing party (usually from out-of-state!) who thinks that being difficult will give him or her an advantage. That is mistaken. One thing I’ve learned about Connecticut is that most of my Connecticut legal peers, even when our clients are locked in a legal battle, are civil and professional and make Connecticut a wonderful place for the legal profession. Connecticut is, as you all know, a small world, and lawyers who are opposed to me on one case might be working alongside me on another one, or working on a project with me for a legal organization like the bar association.

It is a shame that our political world has lost the civility that had long been a hallmark of legislative and executive life and tradition. Has it improved anyone’s political standing, the ability to get things done, or the lives of the politicians and their constituents? I think not. Now, there were exceptions in history to this civility, like the 1856 caning of Senator Sumner by Rep. Brooks, a dispute that foreshadowed the larger divisions that led to Civil War. Civil discourse has greatly improved since then, but we risk too much by forgetting the benefits of civility.

To help all of us continue to engage in meaningful and respectful exchanges within our communities, TBT is presenting a program entitled “How to Talk to Each Other: Effective Communication about Differences.” If you are reading this in late April, please join us at TBT on Sunday, April 29, 2018, at 9:30 a.m. to hear from two expert TBT members, Nancy Abramson, MSW, and Rosemary Baggish, MPH, about how to talk and discuss issues in a divided, polarized country. You’ll even get to enjoy a light brunch.

I also hope to see you all on Tuesday, May 22, 2018, for our congregation’s Annual Meeting. An update on the building project will be on the agenda, along with the usual information and honors. Come at 7:00 p.m. for dessert and attend the 90-minute program from 7:15 to 8:45 p.m.

- Jeff Babbin

Rabbi's Column - May 2018

What is Jewish music? Music has been a part of our tradition since Biblical times. We chant from our Torah scroll; we pray in music; we grieve with music; we rejoice with music. Jewish musical styles extend from folk to classical to klezmer to Broadway. What makes it Jewish? Is it the composer? The singer? The religiousness? How about all of the above! We have two extraordinary musical programs coming up at TBT – come be a part of making Jewish history.

Rabbi Offner

Sunday, May 6, 2018 at 1 PM hear internationally renowned singer and teacher Joey Weisenberg at TBT. Program is free and open to the public. Excellent experience for all ages! (Lunch at 12 noon, free to TBT members; nominal charge for others)

Saturday, June 2, 2018 at 6 PM join us for a Kosher BBQ and a special musical program with Cantor Margolius and Jason Gaines who will share the story of the Jews as told through Broadway music.