Do you 10Q?
The High Holy Days cover a lot of thematic ground. Reflection. Repentance. Reconnection. We explore all of the R-words, and many other letters as well including Worship. Peoplehood. Gratitude.
T’shuvah, or repentance, is perhaps the most central idea. The name in Hebrew comes from Lashuv, to return. The idea is that we can return ourselves and our relationships to others and to God to the way things were before we missed the mark, before we did or said something that damaged that relationship. We know we cannot unsay or undo what happened. We can take steps to repair our relationships, to make amends for the ways in which we hurt someone. And the rabbis give us a set of steps to do that.
One of the tasks we are given is something called a Cheshbon Hanefesh – an accounting of the soul. The folks in the recovery programs refer to this as the fourth step: “making a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” The idea is that to repair the damage, we first have to realize what we did. I learned from my teacher Rabbi Mark Borovitz that Cheshbon Hanefesh is not just a list of how we have hurt others or disappointed God. We also need to take stock of what we did that was good and built up relationships. That way we do not wallow in our worst moments.
THEN we can begin the work of setting things right.
A decade ago, the folks at an organization called Reboot developed a web site called 10Q. It was inspired by the traditional ten days of reflection that occur between the Jewish holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, a period of time that’s long been considered an opportunity to look at where you’re at, where you’ve come from, and where you’re heading.
Whether you’re Jewish or not, 10Q is a great way for anyone to look back at the year that’s past, look ahead at the year to come, and take stock. That’s a beautiful thing in any language.
Answer one question per day in your own secret online 10Q space. Make your answers serious. Silly. Salacious. However you like. It’s your 10Q. When you’re finished, hit the magic button and your answers get sent to the secure online 10Q vault for safekeeping. One year later, the vault will open and your answers will land back in your email inbox for private reflection. Want to keep them secret? Perfect. Want to share them, either anonymously or with attribution, with the wider 10Q community? You can do that too.
I have done 10Q most of the past 10 years. I spend some time before Rosh Hashanah reviewing my answers from last year. Then I try to spend time answering anew questions like: “Is there something that you wish you had done differently this past year?” Alternatively, “is there something you’re especially proud of from this past year?” or “How would you like to improve yourself and your life next year? Is there a piece of advice or counsel you received in the past year that could guide you?”
I invite you to try this on your own.
The questions begin on September 11. Visit https://www.doyou10q.com/ to sign up. They will remind you via email.
L’shanah Tovah!
Ira J. Wise, D.J.R.E.
Temple Educator