Last year at this time, I sat vigil at the house where I grew up with my extended family and helped usher my mother to her death. For a week, my sister and brothers and I did everything we could to ease my mother’s pain and comfort my father. My life as I knew it was on hold, and together we created a sacred space for my mother to pass from this world. We shared meals together, visited with dear neighbors, and together told stories...lots of them. A particularly poignant moment comes to mind when I was with my mother in the living room and my father, who was just around the corner in the dining room, started playing Embraceable You on the piano. This was their song. I held my mother’s hand and softly sang it for her.
My mother died just a few days after Rosh Hashanah. Because of the timing of her funeral service and the HHD, there wasn’t going to be an opportunity to sit Shiva here with my TBT community until after Yom Kippur. My house was also under significant reconstruction, and barely liveable for us, never mind a shiva minyan.
In my conversations with Rabbi Moss I learned that dear friends, Leslie Powell and Steven Stoll, had offered to open up their home so I had a place to grieve with our community once I returned to CT. To my surprise, several TBT members also drove out to Long Island to attend my mother’s viewing. They drove at least 2 1⁄2 hours to Long Island, right in the middle of the HHD. I was so moved and grateful to be a part of this incredibly generous community.
After Yom Yippur, many of you gathered with me, Stu, Becca and Ellie at Leslie and Steven’s home. Together we prayed, and the four of us told stories about the many ways that my mom/my daughters’ Nonna had touched our lives. You celebrated her life with me and held me as the reality of her loss really began to settle in. I will never forget the physical and spiritual embrace I felt that evening, as my body began to experience a sort of “emotional thaw.” The love I felt was the perfect antidote to the numbness that had set in all those months driving back and forth to Long Island every weekend. Thank you for holding me in my grief and for creating a sacred space for me to mourn. The deep sense of connection and belonging I felt that evening, and every time I received a note or card in the mail helped to ground me and shift me back to my life here in CT. I was reminded that I am not alone.
As I recognize my mother’s yahrzeit this month and recall the incredible communal embrace I felt, I am reminded that so many people never experience this, and either die or grieve alone. While my heartaches for those without a community, it also swells with pride and hope for TBT. We are a thriving community with people who love it as much as I do, and serve on committees like Chesed so no one has to be alone in their grief.
We are not alone. To the contrary, we are entering our Jubilee - 50 years of this amazing Jewish community, our House of Hope, on the shoreline. Our wonderful Suzy Frisch is the Coordinating Chair overseeing all of the events including but not limited to a Shabbat service, Gala, and champagne brunch and events honoring the vision of our founders and early members.
Our devoted David and Nancy Rosen are working to ensure that programs held throughout the year, like the Scholar-in-Residence and Silidker Musical weekend, are infused with the joy of this momentous occasion. Please look for a program of upcoming events which will be available during the HHDs. It will outline many of the events so that you can save the dates and make sure you are here!!
As we approach the High Holy Days and gather as a community, I would be remiss if I didn’t communicate the awe that I feel as your President. Through our capital campaigns, we have received gifts from 70% of the congregation. Since we announced the $1 million Secure the Future match in May, we have raised $540,058 for our match campaign. With an additional $459,942, we will reach the $1 million match. At that time, we will have raised $2 million to pay off all but $300,000 of our construction loan! This is incredible progress in just a few short months. Help us reach our goal to retire the debt. Please dig deep and give with a generous spirit. We want the match donor to know that we all love this congregation and intend for it to be here for generations to come ... so they too can return!
Listen to my September musical message here.
L’shalom,
Jodie M. Ambrosino
TBT President